Gotta Catch 'Em All!

Disclaimer: Spanner and his family are my creations (in fact, Spanner is a Blatant Self-Insert character - BEWARE! Bwahahahaha!!!), though Spanner's brother and sister's names were stolen from the author's real-life brother and sister's Internet handles. Professor Hazel, and the mysterious figures towards the end of the chapter also belong to me. All Bishomon mentioned are the property of their respective copyright owners. The idea of Pocket Bishoujo belongs to Lady Silver Senshi who maintains the Pocket Bishoujo Website at The idea of Pocket Bishonen comes from Tokio, who maintains the Pocket Bishonen Website at

And now that that's out of the way, let me tell you a bit about this story. It's intended to be the first in a series of stories which I will write until I get tired of doing so. Don't worry, I still have plenty of ideas in mind! (Actually, maybe you SHOULD worry, at that. Mwahahaha!) Basically, it follows the adventures of Spanner in much the same way that Pok‚mon follows the adventures of Ash. There will be some parallels between the two (they start out much the same way), but for the most part, my story will follow a very different path... Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story!

Chapter 1: A Lousy Start

Spanner groped awkwardly at the alarm clock as it blared merrily away a few feet from his head. Finally, his hand found its mark, and the clock went silent. Yawning contentedly, Spanner sat up in his bed and yawned widely. "Wow, I sure feel rested, considering I'm getting up at three in the morning!" Spanner's eighteenth birthday had passed just a few weeks before, and that meant his parents were finally going to allow him to begin his Bishomon Journey. He would have left the very
day he turned eighteen if he could, but Professor Hazel only distributed starting Bishomon a few times a year. During those times, competition was fierce, as there were frequently not enough Bishomon to accommodate every trainer. Which was why Spanner was up so early. He figured the perfect way to ensure that he was able to pick the choicest Bishomon was to be the first in line when the Professor's laboratory opened for the day. Of course, he also realized that many other trainers would have the same idea, and so set his clock especially early. 

"I'm not even sleepy!" Spanner muttered cheerfully to himself as he began to dress. "Boy, it sure is bright out for this time of day..." Indeed, sunlight was seeping around the edges of the window shades, dimly lighting the room. Suddenly worried, Spanner grabbed the nearest shade and pulled it open. The sun was shining brightly, high in the sky. In a panic, Spanner grabbed the alarm clock and studied it more carefully. It now read 3:03... p.m. "AAAAHHH!!! I HATE it when I mix up a.m. and p.m.! But why today, of all days!?!" Spanner haphazardly threw on enough clothes to be considered decent, and launched himself out of his room and down the stairs. "Finally up, sleepyhead?" Spanner's mother called cheerfully. "Can't talk! Panicking!" the boy announced as he zoomed by. "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! Bye, Nephron! Bye, Jazzie!" he called to his parents, brother, and sister as he yanked open the door and fled outside.

Once he had left, his mother sighed, and addressed his father. "Are you sure it's a good idea to let him do this? You've seen all the stories in the news...""I'm sure he'll be all right," he answered. "I know that he'll treat his Bishomon responsibly. Not like those perverts that have been giving trainers a bad name... You used to be a trainer - you should know that most aren't like that!" 
"You're right. I'm worried over nothing," Spanner's mother smiled. "I still remember my first Bishonen... Vampire Hunter D was just such a darling!" She looked dreamily off into space. "I
would never deprive my son of  the chance to train Bishomon, if that's what he wants."
Her husband chuckled. "I know. I feel the same way, even though I never was a trainer myself." Then, he looked a bit worried. "Isn't it a bit late in the day, though? I would have thought that the Professor would have started distributing Bishomon much earlier than this..."
"I'm not sure how they do it now," she replied, a bit worriedly. Then she cheered. "I'm sure Spanner knows what he's doing!"
"You're probably right," he replied.
* * * * * *
"I can't believe I screwed up like this!" Spanner berated himself for the umpteenth time that day. He was running as fast as he could, and the Professor's lab had finally come into view. A few minutes later, he had flown through the front door, nearly knocking over an aide on his way out with an armload of packages to be mailed. "I'm here! I'm here! Ohpleaseohplease let there be some Bishoujo left!" His eyes darted around the room, and finally located the table where he knew the Pocket Bishoujo would be waiting... only to find the table empty. "Ah, hello there... uh... ah, Spanner, that's right!" Professor Hazel's familiar voice rang out.
Professor Hazel was a woman in her late forties. She had a head of red hair, tied back into a bun and streaked with grey, and a few laugh wrinkles around her green eyes. Her stumbling around his name was not an indication of unfamiliarity - rather, it had more to do with her nearly legendary absentmindedness. She smiled cheerfully at him as she walked into view. "Well, I thought we were done for the day, but let's get you a Bishoujo, shall we?"
Spanner sighed in relief. It seemed that he wasn't too late, after all. His apprehension returned as Professor Hazel approached the empty table. "Uh, Professor," he began. "Please, choose any one you like!" she replied, gesturing at the table. Spanner sweatdropped. "There aren't any left."
"Oh?" She blinked, and then studied the table in more detail.
"My, you seem to be correct! My apologies! Well, I suppose you'll have to settle for a Bishonen, then."
Spanner sighed inwardly. It was not unheard of for a male to begin his training with a Bishonen, but it was not common (largely because those that did were frequently the subject of negative gossip). Spanner himself had an open mind, but didn't feel like personally bucking the system. Nevertheless, he was determined to become a Bishomon trainer that day, and if that meant starting off with a Bishonen, so be it. "Help yourself!" the Professor beamed, gesturing at yet another table. Yet another EMPTY table.
"Uh, Professor," Spanner said again.
This time, Hazel examined the table for herself. "Oh, dear, I did it again, didn't I? They're all gone as well... Hmm... I know!"
"Yes...?" Spanner asked eagerly.
"You're out of luck."
Spanner facefaulted.
"I'm sorry, young man. If you'd been here a bit earlier, I could have helped you... But I can't give you what I don't have!" She looked truly sorrowful. "Please, come again in January! I'll have more Bishomon to give away by then."
By this time Spanner was incredibly depressed. "I guess I'll just have to wait, then. Well, thanks anyway." The boy turned and began to trudge out the door.
Just then, the two of them heard a loud crash from the back of the lab, followed by a high-pitched voice yelling, "Oops!".
Professor Hazel frowned. "Oh, no. She couldn't have gotten out AGAIN!"
Curious, Spanner turned around just in time to see a streak of brown and yellow dart away from the source of the crash. "Please, would you help me catch her?" Professor Hazel begged, already
moving. "Catch what?" Spanner asked. The Professor was no longer paying attention, however. Instead, she was picking up a thoroughly broken microscope and examining it mournfully.
Spanner looked carefully around. Finally, he spotted her. It was a well-tanned Bishoujo, about knee-high (as most Bishomon were), and dressed in a pink t-shirt and tan slacks. She had wavy
blonde hair tied back with a red ribbon, and wide, saucer-like blue eyes. The expression on her face was of utter embarrassment, but turned to terror as she noticed that Spanner had spotted her.
"Really, I didn't mean it!" she squeaked, turning to run. Unfortunately, she turned to run smack into the leg of an extremely cluttered table. A computer monitor, precariously balanced atop three textbooks, a stack of videotapes, and an extremely stale cheese sandwich (the Professor's absentmindedness did absolutely nothing to help her cleanliness), chose that moment to slip, and began to fall.
Unaware of her impending doom, the Bishomon sat in front of the table leg she had collided with and rubbed the bump on her head, her huge eyes watering up with tears. She finally noticed
the shadow growing rapidly around her, and looked up. She only had time to gasp in fear...
...before Spanner knocked her aside, having launched himself across the room and under the table. Then, for Spanner, everything went black.
* * * * * *
"Oh, you're awake!" Professor Hazel's voice piped up as Spanner blearily opened his eyes. His head was throbbing. "What happened," the boy asked. 
"Oh, I can't thank you enough!" Hazel congratulated warmly. "I can't stand to think of what might have happened if you hadn't stepped in!"
Quickly, recent events returned to him. "That's all right," Spanner said, groggily sitting up. "I was happy to help her."
"Oh, no, I was talking about the monitor!" Hazel replied. "If it had hit the floor instead of your head, it could have been destroyed! It's a Mediatronix 370C, you know - very expensive!
I've been looking for it for weeks. I have no idea how it ended up on that table..." She began to drift off into her own little world of thought.
Hoping to regain her attention while such a thing was still possible, Spanner interrupted, "What about the Bishoujo? Is she all right?"
"What? Who?" the Professor asked, blinking. Then she remembered. "Oh! Yes, of course. Well, see for yourself! She wouldn't let go of you, no matter how I tried."
"Huh?" Spanner looked down at himself, finally noticing an unusual pressure on his right leg. The Bishoujo was there, clinging to it like some kind of barnacle. "Uh, hello," he offered.
The Bishoujo finally seemed to notice that he was awake. "Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she cried. "You saved me I thought I was going to be crushed for sure but you bravely jumped to my
rescue how can I ever repay you you're such a hero!!!"
"Um, you're welcome?" Spanner replied, trying to sort through the bewildering mess of words. He turned to the Professor. "Just what is she, anyway?"
"Hmm? Oh, she's a Mihoshi. She's not an uncommon type of Bishomon, but not many trainers are able to catch them. Popular myth claims that disaster befalls anyone who tries... I didn't believe it myself, until we found this one."
"Found? Not caught?" Spanner asked. 
"That's right. This one had already been caught by someone else - using an unregistered Bishoball." Spanner frowned deeply at that. Only criminals used unregistered balls. "We don't know why she was abandoned - or lost - but we decided to take her in." Hazel sighed, deeply. "I've come to regret it. She's already escaped from her ball seven times - something which is supposed to be impossible to do even once. We checked the ball for glitches, but it was perfectly fine. And every time she DOES get loose, she breaks something. Or a lot of somethings. Never on purpose, of course, but it is still a nuisance..."
"Can I have her?" Spanner asked suddenly.
"What?" The Professor seemed to think about this for a bit. "Well, she does seem to like you..." That was pretty obvious from the way that Mihoshi had started to rub her cheek against Spanner's chest, smiling contentedly. "But if her performance around the lab is any indication, she could be a lot of trouble. Are you sure about this?"
Spanner nodded. "She's a lot better than having no Bishoujo at all! Please, Professor Hazel, can I keep her?"
Professor Hazel smiled reassuringly. "All right. Let me fetch her Bishoball, and I'll register it in your name - I certainly don't intend to return it to whatever poacher caught her in the first place!"
As Professor Hazel made the necessary arrangements, Spanner pried Mihoshi off of his chest and addressed her. "What do you think? Would you like to come with me?"
"I'll, uh, take that as a yes," Spanner replied, his hair blown backwards by the enthusiastic response.
"Hooray!" the Bishoujo snapped a smart salute. "Galaxy Policewoman Mihoshi at your service!"
"And I'm Spanner," Spanner replied with half-amused formality. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Galaxy Policewoman Mihoshi."
"Here you go," Professor Hazel said, dropping the ball into Spanner's hands.
Spanner noted Mihoshi's suddenly apprehensive expression, and said, "Don't worry, Mihoshi - you don't have to go into the ball, if you don't want to." Mihoshi seemed to cheer up at this.
"Not that you could keep her there if you tried," Hazel added dryly. "But speaking seriously, I don't think there should be any problems with letting her roam free. Just be sure to keep her in good health, and to treat her with kindness and respect, and I'm sure that you'll make a great team!"
"Thanks, Professor!" Spanner replied. "Well, I guess we'd better be going. I've got a Journey to begin!" Spanner got up and headed toward the door.
Mihoshi hopped to the floor and began to follow. As she neared the door, she turned and began to wave. "Bye bye, Professor Hazel!" she called. "Thanks for taking care of me, and-"
"MIHOSHI!" Hazel cried.
"-for being such a good - OOF!" Mihoshi had collided with the wall beside the door. She staggered a bit, somehow wrapping a cord around her leg - a cord attached to a water cooler by the door. Mihoshi tripped, flailing her arms, and accidently gave a strong tug on the cord, tipping the cooler over. The cooler crashed into a messy bookshelf, shattering and soaking a number of books, even as it caused the bookshelf to tip over and crash into a table, which tilted under the weight...
Spanner didn't wait to see more, grabbing Mihoshi and darting off, as Mihoshi babbled frantic apologies. He winced with each new crash and frustrated shout coming from the lab behind them,
until he was finally out of earshot of the carnage. Only then, did he finally set Mihoshi down. "Mihoshi, something tells me that our Journey is not going to be boring." At this, Mihoshi just blinked.

* * * * * *

Hidden deep underground, a most unsavory meeting was commencing...
"We've come, just as you requested, Boss!" Though the shadows were to dark to make out specifics, it was clear by the voice that the speaker was male. His voice was thin and weedy. "Do you have a mission for us? Do you? Huh? Huh?" This voice was definitely female. It was also very nasal, and somewhat hyper.
"Yes, I do," a voice rumbled. Well, tried to rumble, the third speaker was apparently not accustomed to speaking in such a low tone, and his voice frequently broke into falsetto for brief
moments. The effect rather spoiled the imposing presence he was obviously trying to project. "As you know, I have long been searching for a Mihoshi of my very own. Last month, one of my agents actually managed to catch one - only to be badly injured in a tragic baking accident."
"...a baking accident?" the first voice asked.
"Yes," the third replied grimly, as though daring the third to make an issue of it. "At any rate, as a result, the Bishoball containing the Mihoshi was lost, and we thought it was lost permanently. However, one of my spies has discovered that the ball was, in fact, recovered, and delivered to Professor Hazel, the noted Bishomon researcher. 
"Yeah, I've heard of her," the second voice interjected, trying to sound wise.
"Of course you have, you nitwit," the third snapped, voice breaking twice in his ire.
"So, you want us to go make a hit on the Professor?" voice one said eagerly.
"No, she no longer has the Bishoujo," the Boss replied. "She has given it to a new trainer - one by the name of Spanner. He's the one I want you to find. Get the Mihoshi from him. You may use any means you wish; bribery, violence, whatever it takes." 
"Got it, Boss!" voices one and two shouted in unison. "You can count on us!"
"No I can't," the Boss disagreed. "That is why I'm sending one of my own, personal Bishomon with you. Kiyone!" A fourth shadow stepped forward. "Kiyone is my finest Bishoujo. She will be in an
equal partner in this mission. Listen to her advice, and heed it!"
"We gotta take orders from a Bishoujo?" voice one asked in dismay.
"Do you have a PROBLEM WITH THAT!?!" Kiyone snarled, whipping out her Galaxy Police issue blaster and pointing it menacingly at the shadowed figure of the first voice.
"...Uh, no," he replied.
"Good," the Boss said evenly. "Now, go. And DO NOT fail me. I can assure you that your careers with our organization depend on this."
"Yes, sir!" the two saluted, before turning smartly on their heels, and heading out.
Kiyone waited a moment, and then turned to the Boss. "Are you sure about this, Boss? I mean, they're morons!"
"Yes, but they are also very lucky," the Boss replied. "How else can they have lasted as long as they have with our group? And to have such powerful Bishomon at their command? They are lucky, and they are foolish. Who can you think of better to catch a Mihoshi?"
"I suppose you have a point," Kiyone answered grudgingly.
"Now go, keep an eye on them. And remember, that your career depends on this mission, as well. You have had a favored position at my side up until now, but do not think that will make a difference if you fail me. Do you understand?"
"Right! You can count on me, sir," Kiyone replied, flashing a smile. Then she, too, headed out.
Alone in the darkness, the Boss began to chuckle to himself. It was a thin, deranged chuckle that suffered from the same breaks as his voice. "Soon, Mihoshi, soon you will be mine!!!"

Author's notes:

Just a few things I wanna make clear to cover my butt. ^_^

1. I do not intend to imply that you have to be eighteen to collect Bishomon - just that Spanner's parents wouldn't let him go until then (probably so that he could devote his time to finishing high school). Collecting Bishoujo and Bishonen is something that's fun for all ages!

2. I am not actually eighteen. I'm actually older. I made Spanner eighteen, 'cause I thought it'd be more fun that way. I also made him pretty ignorant of what types of Bishoujo and Bishonen there are. He won't be quite as dumb as Ash, but I hope to use his ignorance to introduce readers to the world in much the same way as Ash's ignorance is used. Oh, and he's much more attractive than I am, 'cause he's a self-insert and I can do that. Not that I'm horrible to look at, or anything...

3. I do not actually believe that Kiyone is evil. But THIS Kiyone is certainly devoted to her master, and he IS pretty evil. Hey, I needed a Bishoujo to be on the villains' team (ala Meowth, on Pokemon), and with Mihoshi on the good guys' side, it seemed like a good choice.

4. Anything else you'd like to discuss with me? E-mail me! Polite criticism helps an author to grow! And flames give an author reason to keep writing (to spite the scum that flamed them ^_^).